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  • Lotus Magazine MC

yours truly, becky

As October rolls in, I am filled with excitement about sweatshirt weather, fall kicking in and of course Halloween. With all its fun, October also brings a little bit of sadness, as it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Breast cancer has impacted my family in ways I would have never imagined. Both my mother and aunt have battled with this type of cancer.


This month takes me back to when my mother was first diagnosed. Only being in kindergarten, I was not entirely aware of what was actually going on. I remember she had to go through chemo which made her lose her hair but she never showed a sign of weakness. She beat her cancer, however, five or so years later it came back. This time it was different. She went to multiple doctor appointments and chemo sessions, and lost her hair again, but this time her physical strength began to weaken and something as simple as breathing became difficult. Even though physically she was getting weaker, she never ever showed fear or complained.


Eventually, the cancer began to spread again. On April 12, 2014 my mother passed away after two years of her second battle. All the emotions and questions were in full effect that day. I was happy she was no longer in pain but heartbroken that my best friend was no longer here. I thought about all the life events she would just not be here for, how could she not be here? My mother will forever be my biggest inspiration and one of the toughest people I will know.


Now, each October my family and I do local breast cancer awareness walks in memory of my mother and walk by the side of my aunt. This month will always remind us of our past, but also how important it is to enjoy the lives we get to live. After my mom had passed, my dad, I believe, found a journal she had written in. A small piece from one of her writings goes, “always enjoy every moment.” During the summer of 2020 I got that phrase tattooed on my foot as a reminder to enjoy every moment life has to offer.


The month of October also happens to be my mother's birth month. On October 13 my family and I always get together for dinner and celebrate her life. She may longer be here physically but I can feel her spirit around. She had a time of warm energy that always made you feel better, laugh when you’d cry, and make a good time even better. I love being with my family and somehow still being told new stories about her from before I was born. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could have just one more talk and one more big hug. I know she is always listening and guiding me right where I need to be.

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