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  • Lotus Magazine MC

yours truly, jilleen

Junior year hit me like a ton of bricks. More than that — it hit me like a whole building of them.

College has always been difficult, but mostly because I gave myself extra challenges. I joined more clubs to keep myself busy during the pandemic — this was the perfect way to make me forget about the social life I had looked forward to but never really got to have.

This hectic lifestyle worked for me when I didn’t have to run from place to place, rather I could sit on my computer and work until my eyes got too tired from the blue light, but now, many more events and meetings are in-person. Living off campus means I have to run down the hill to get to them, which cuts down on my productivity. Additionally, the social life I so badly wanted has returned and I find myself saying “no” to city trips and dining hall dates because I have to make up for the work I was unable to do while I was running around campus.

Believe me, I’m grateful for the in-person opportunities and the vaccinations that allow us to be here. I love being able to once again wave to people on the quad, have unexpected hangouts when I end up in the same building as a friend and go to office hours in an actual office. But as someone who was only a freshman when the pandemic started, I never learned how to schedule these things between all of my responsibilities. I feel incredibly overwhelmed and I am often unable to relax out of fear that I have forgotten to turn in an assignment or respond to an important email.

My friend recently said to me that she wished we had a “real” sophomore year. An additional adjustment year is what she thinks of the second year of college as, and because the class of 2023 didn’t do that in person, she believes we didn’t get to fully acclimate to higher education. This puts us in a weird position as juniors because we don’t know how things operate under normal circumstances and we have to put a lot of energy into leading clubs, taking rigorous classes and mentoring younger students.

As editor-in-chief of Lotus, I have to figure out how to run a magazine with my co-EIC Lilly, which involves working with people who have only seen each other over screen in order to get everyone to operate as a team. But you know what? I love it. I worked hard for this position and while it may feel strange for Lilly and myself to be in the position of our fabulous predecessors Sam and Deirdre, it also feels really good to share responsibility for a publication that I know will look incredible. It’ll be published in just over a month, and I can’t wait for you all to see it.

Junior year may be demanding, but I am eager to hold the magazine in my hands and prove to myself that it was all worth it.

Yours Truly,



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