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  • Lilly Brown

yours truly, lilly

The sun is out, it’s 48 degrees in a New York February, I feel good.

Feeling is something I’ve been trying to do more of recently. I find that I move too quickly, I think

too fast and I miss simple pleasures. I’m beginning to indulge in everyday occurrences like the

feeling of direct sunlight on my half-masked face, or the way it looks shining into our narrow,

black-and-white-checkered-floor-kitchen. I find that this practice allows the small pleasantries

throughout my day to alleviate the constant chatter in my head.

Along with this comes forgetfulness. I am extremely forgetful-not of tasks for school, work or

training, but of small details during conversation, a sentence someone just said to me that didn’t

process. I attribute this to a lack of being present. As I mentioned before, I have an incessant,

unwavering obsession with thinking about what’s next, what else I need to do, and how can I

maximize the minimal time I have in the day to get shit done.

While this is efficient and has brought me success in most of my educational/professional

endeavors, what I care most about, my connections with other people, tends to be neglected. Or

at least what I consider to be neglected, because small details are important to me. However

trivial these details may be, when someone remembers a specific remark that I made, name I

mentioned, podcast title I recommended, what have you, I feel an abundance of love.

As I slow myself down throughout the day to recognize, process and feel seemingly insignificant

things, I hope to become a better sister, friend, lover, teacher, communicator and contributor. I’ll

let you know how it goes.

yours truly,



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