Lately, I've been striving to please everyone.
Sitting in my bed attempting to feel the peace I once felt when I was sitting at home on a Wednesday afternoon like this,
The feeling won't last, and I know that my many assignments are always counting on me which most likely takes willpower and immense focus to start.
Two months ago I knew the same thing I know now, that I am craving to be the best I can be.
Frequently striving to not formulate disappointment in any aspect.
I've been checking up frequently on friends after doing work for hours.
A ding goes off on my head that I need to stabilize,
I try to structure all aspects of my life as the day goes on.
However, I've still been rushing myself back to my room to work on something I forgot about, as the thought of being perfect and acceptable rushes through me.
I am usually typing up something that I am not even fully knowledgeable of.
It takes me a lot of willpower to focus.
Still questioning if all that I do is worth it.
Once I wake up, I check my phone and remind myself over and over that I need to have a productive day.
I want to be successful, and I want to be satisfied with myself.
However, it is getting nice out and I feel like I have an outlet.
Van Cortland's nature reminds me of home, walking alone in the morning around the loop has become part of my morning routine.
However, it is important to realize that this is beneficial.
Connecting back to our life without feeling on edge, and not recognizing work as my life's determining factor.
I breathe, I look at the pictures my mom sends me of my dogs or my dad on vacation,
But I mainly try to not look at my phone.
Just simply breathing sorting out the present positives in my life,
Still not forgetting the aspects I could improve on, but still letting go.
It's important to take it easy, through time making what you need a priority is possible.
Remember your time to disconnect is for you and no one else.
yours truly,
colette
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